Welcome all from ICLW! I am so glad that I've decided to participate this month. I'm connecting with new bloggers, which is great as I try to expand my blog reader to find other prospective adoptive families. I thought that, rather than do a big rehash of where we've been in our journey, I'd talk a little bit about where we are now.
M and I are currently looking into options for adoption. After a lot of investigation, I believe that we have settled on open domestic adoption. It excites me that we'll get to have a baby. We are so fortunate to live in Chicago as there are many resources available. We've had informational meetings with 4 local agencies. Additionally, I have a personal connection to an adoptive family for three of the agencies.
So, let me tell you about the last informational session we went to last week. It was the biggest sales pitch and worst customer service from an adoption agency that I have seen yet. I have only just dipped my toe into the adoption pool, but I find that I have very strong feelings about what I think is ethical. This agency pushed that envelope - big time. I believe that as a prospective adoptive mom, I need to be well informed and educated. So, like a good girl, I consulted my favorite ALI website and printed a list of the 20 questions to ask when interviewing an adoption agency. We scheduled a 30 minute informational session during this agencies open house. I sat down, and after a few minutes of small talk, we started going through my questions. The social worker was vague. Vague to the point that M was angrier than I've ever seen him. As the conversation continued, the social worker continued to evade questions, and was trying to rush us along. She kept saying that most of these questions would be answered at the informational sessions which are more in depth. She did go on about how successful they were in placing children, but then went on to take credit for the directed placements they helped to facilitate - other agencies excluded those as they didn't feel that they were an accurate description of their placements.
So, after she basically pushed us out the door, I asked what the next steps were (knowing that what I was thinking was that I'm never coming near this place again). Apparently, there is a session where I can pay $350 and get ALL my questions answered. And, after that, I should be informed enough to decide if I want to move forward with this agency. I was horrified. M was livid. We both felt that they were preying on us, and, despite the fact that they were a non profit, were only in it for the money. And, I can't actually figure out what they used the money for since the agency didn't even provide birth mother expenses. The other agencies we've explored, including the big giant FOR PROFIT adoption law firm were more than happy to answer as many questions as we wanted, as often as we wanted - FOR FREE.
Needless to say, we won't be using them. We hope to figure out definitively our plan in the next month or so, and sign with an agency later this summer. That will give us time to get some more funds together, and will also allow for me to survive a super busy time at work.
Showing posts with label ICLW. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ICLW. Show all posts
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
It's a Charlie Brown Thanksgiving
My husband is sick with the flu or some bug or something. I love him, but he is an AWFUL patient. He's resting comfortably now, and I'm hoping he's getting better.
I hope I don't get sick. It doesn't look fun.
So, our Thanksgiving plans have changed. We will be staying home. I went to the grocery store this afternoon, and bought some stuff to make a sad little Thanksgiving dinner. We will be having turkey breast, canned gravy, stove top stuffing, grocery store pumpkin pie, refrigerator rolls, and canned green beans. Sad little Charlie Brown Thanksgiving.
I hope I don't get sick. It doesn't look fun.
So, our Thanksgiving plans have changed. We will be staying home. I went to the grocery store this afternoon, and bought some stuff to make a sad little Thanksgiving dinner. We will be having turkey breast, canned gravy, stove top stuffing, grocery store pumpkin pie, refrigerator rolls, and canned green beans. Sad little Charlie Brown Thanksgiving.
Monday, November 23, 2009
My Holiday Strategy
Last Christmas was rough. We had just found out about our infertility diagnosis, and I was dwelling on the thought that M and I would be that couple in the family - the one everyone takes pity on at the holidays because they don't have any family of their own. A year later, I've been through a roller coaster of a year - two IVF cycles, one miscarriage, and a poor prognosis for success.
Last year, I tried to skip Christmas or at least gloss over it. It didn't work. Christmas still happened, and I felt worse for not making the effort to celebrate. So, this year, I'm trying a new approach. I'm going all in with Christmas this year. My Christmas cards are written out, we hung lights outside, I "adopted" a DCFS child to bestow gifts on - the whole works. I've even convinced my brother's and sisters to stage a surprise skit for Christmas Eve. (The girls are going to wear red t-shirts that say "HO" on them, and the boys are going to dress as Gangsta Santas. We're going to do Christmas Carrol raps). My brother is getting married January 2nd, and my other brother and sister-in-law will be birthing a baby in the next week or so.
Despite my sorrows and struggles this past year, there is a lot to celebrate. And, I'm NOT going to wallow in my childlessness. I'm going to celebrate Christmas and enjoy the season as much as I can. I'm realistic in that it will not be easy, and there will be some sad times, but I think (and hope) that I'll get out out of what I put into it. And, this year, I'm putting in the effort.
Last year, I tried to skip Christmas or at least gloss over it. It didn't work. Christmas still happened, and I felt worse for not making the effort to celebrate. So, this year, I'm trying a new approach. I'm going all in with Christmas this year. My Christmas cards are written out, we hung lights outside, I "adopted" a DCFS child to bestow gifts on - the whole works. I've even convinced my brother's and sisters to stage a surprise skit for Christmas Eve. (The girls are going to wear red t-shirts that say "HO" on them, and the boys are going to dress as Gangsta Santas. We're going to do Christmas Carrol raps). My brother is getting married January 2nd, and my other brother and sister-in-law will be birthing a baby in the next week or so.
Despite my sorrows and struggles this past year, there is a lot to celebrate. And, I'm NOT going to wallow in my childlessness. I'm going to celebrate Christmas and enjoy the season as much as I can. I'm realistic in that it will not be easy, and there will be some sad times, but I think (and hope) that I'll get out out of what I put into it. And, this year, I'm putting in the effort.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Vacation!
I just booked a trip to Hawaii for my anniversary. I am so excited! My husband and I are heading to Oahu on January 28th to Oahu. We are staying at the Turtle Bay Resort on the North Shore for 4 nights. I've you've ever seen Forgetting Sarah Marshall, the movie was set primarily at the Turtle Bay Resort. After 4 nights, we are heading to Maui where we will be staying at the Hyatt Regency Maui Resort and Spa for three nights.
I've never been to Hawaii before. In fact, this is basically my dream vacation. We didn't get a honeymoon, and haven't traveled very extensively at all. I am SO beyond excited about this trip. It is really something to look forward to, and I think I'll have fun with the planning as well.
My husband used to live in Hawaii years ago when he was in the Army, so I think that Oahu is a special place for him and I'm looking forward to learning something more about him after all these years together. I also have always had it in my mind that we would start a family after we've had the opportunity to take our dream vacation. Of course, in my mind we would go to paradise and get pregnant on vacation. We all know that isn't going to happen!
As far as my IVF plans, I am going to schedule a meet up with Dr. B in mid January. I hope to start BCPs with my period in January, and start stimming when I return from Hawaii. I think that the timing will work out ok. If not, I'll put it off until February / March. I want to do one cycle in the winter, and, if that's not successful, I'll wait until after Mother's Day (and my miscarried baby's due date). So, I don't mind waiting a bit. I also need more time to work on my weight loss plans. To date, I've lost about 30 pounds since I was pregnant. I want to lose another 10 to 20 pounds before we try again.
That's my story. Welcome all ICLWers!
I've never been to Hawaii before. In fact, this is basically my dream vacation. We didn't get a honeymoon, and haven't traveled very extensively at all. I am SO beyond excited about this trip. It is really something to look forward to, and I think I'll have fun with the planning as well.
My husband used to live in Hawaii years ago when he was in the Army, so I think that Oahu is a special place for him and I'm looking forward to learning something more about him after all these years together. I also have always had it in my mind that we would start a family after we've had the opportunity to take our dream vacation. Of course, in my mind we would go to paradise and get pregnant on vacation. We all know that isn't going to happen!
As far as my IVF plans, I am going to schedule a meet up with Dr. B in mid January. I hope to start BCPs with my period in January, and start stimming when I return from Hawaii. I think that the timing will work out ok. If not, I'll put it off until February / March. I want to do one cycle in the winter, and, if that's not successful, I'll wait until after Mother's Day (and my miscarried baby's due date). So, I don't mind waiting a bit. I also need more time to work on my weight loss plans. To date, I've lost about 30 pounds since I was pregnant. I want to lose another 10 to 20 pounds before we try again.
That's my story. Welcome all ICLWers!
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
A post about pizza
I used to eat pizza. A lot. Like 3 times a week sometimes. It was a problem, really and truly. Maybe an addiction (please don't mind the crazies I'm sharing here!) The last time I had pizza was September 10th, the day before my miscarriage. Somehow in my mind these two things - pizza and being pregnant / losing my baby - are linked. I can't even bear the thought of eating pizza right now because I remember that the last time I ate it I was pregnant, and the next day I miscarried. I have never gone this long without eating pizza. It's so weird because I don't even want it any more. The thought of eating it sounds good for a minute but then I remember.
I used to eat pizza for celebrations or when I was too tired to cook. It's weird to have my favorite food tied in my mind with something that was so heartbreaking. I think that at this point, I'd like to hold off on eating it until I have a true reason to celebrate - when I bring home a baby.
I used to eat pizza for celebrations or when I was too tired to cook. It's weird to have my favorite food tied in my mind with something that was so heartbreaking. I think that at this point, I'd like to hold off on eating it until I have a true reason to celebrate - when I bring home a baby.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Motivation
At my WTF appointment, Dr. B. kindly suggested that if I lost some weight I might have better results with my next IVF cycle. I've jumped all over this and am funneling all my energies into losing weight. In my magical thinking world, this is a guarantee of success. Whatever works.
- I've joined Weight Watchers Online and have been obsessively counting points
- I've started exercising 6 days a week. Monday through Friday I wake up most days (unless I have to be at work at a weird time) at 4 a.m. and am on my treadmill doing a couch to 5 k program or lifting weights at 4:15 a.m. It's a bit crazy. I'm still half asleep for the first 10 minutes of my workouts.
- I've done 3 1/2 hours of cardio this past week and 1 1/2 hours of lifting weights.
- I also walk my dog about 3 to 5 hours a week. I don't "count" that as working out since he usually operated in "slow" mode.
- I've read The Fertility Diet, and am incorporating these suggestions into my plan, although the milk thing still has me confused.
I've never been more motivated to be successful. Truthfully, I'm a bit obsessive about it. Since I joined Weight Watchers one week after my miscarriage, I've lost 15 pounds. I've lost 10 pound since I last met with Dr. B and he gave me this suggestion.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
What could have been
My RE's office is part of a larger group practice. The clinic itself is to the right of the elevator banks and has it's own waiting room. However, to the left of the elevators is the OB/GYN and MFM clinic, the laboratory, and the large waiting room for ultrasounds. The procedure for monitoring appointments is to check in with RE, and then go to the large waiting room to wait for your blood test and ultrasound.
They open at 7am for monitoring appointments. At that hour of the day, it's easy to avoid the fertiles. But, it gets pretty busy.
I work across the street from the clinic, which makes it really convenient. On Monday, I had to get a blood test, and I decided to go at my lunch break to avoid the early morning crowds. So, I checked in and found a spot in the waiting room. It was pretty crowded. I sat there for a few minutes and tuned in to the conversation around me. Someone was asking how big their baby was. Someone asked how far along the pregnant lady next to me was. She said she was 13 weeks. I glanced over at her, and saw her looking at a ream of ultrasound pictures.
She was 13 weeks and had a stack of ultrasound pictures - great quality ultrasound pictures - of her 13 week fetus.
I would have been 13 weeks the next day, and the lady sitting next to me was looking at her ultrasound pictures.
That could have been me, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I almost cried right there in the crowded waiting room full of fertiles.
I thought, "I don't want to be here." And, then I thought, "You don't need to be." So, I got up and relocated myself to the side of the waiting room by the rheumatology clinic. Self preservation at its finest.
It might be silly, but I was proud of myself for taking care of myself and knowing what I needed to do in a situation to feel better.
They open at 7am for monitoring appointments. At that hour of the day, it's easy to avoid the fertiles. But, it gets pretty busy.
I work across the street from the clinic, which makes it really convenient. On Monday, I had to get a blood test, and I decided to go at my lunch break to avoid the early morning crowds. So, I checked in and found a spot in the waiting room. It was pretty crowded. I sat there for a few minutes and tuned in to the conversation around me. Someone was asking how big their baby was. Someone asked how far along the pregnant lady next to me was. She said she was 13 weeks. I glanced over at her, and saw her looking at a ream of ultrasound pictures.
She was 13 weeks and had a stack of ultrasound pictures - great quality ultrasound pictures - of her 13 week fetus.
I would have been 13 weeks the next day, and the lady sitting next to me was looking at her ultrasound pictures.
That could have been me, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I almost cried right there in the crowded waiting room full of fertiles.
I thought, "I don't want to be here." And, then I thought, "You don't need to be." So, I got up and relocated myself to the side of the waiting room by the rheumatology clinic. Self preservation at its finest.
It might be silly, but I was proud of myself for taking care of myself and knowing what I needed to do in a situation to feel better.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Welcome - ICLW
Welcome from ICLW! I am looking forward to meeting new people going in the ALI community, and getting to know your stories. I thought I'd start off ICLW with an intro post.
I was a bit ambivalent about wanting to have a child until I hit 30. I think that once my father-in-law died, I realized that I wanted a baby above anything else. We started trying shortly thereafter. Being a "Type A" personality, I immeditely bought a OPK, and started having se.x on a schedule. As you can imagine, we hated the scheduled aspect of things, so we decided to "just relax" and "let it happen." It didn't.
I wasn't too concerned at this time as I thought we were just not hitting the timing right. I made excuses. Meanwhile, last November, my husband headed to his GP for a regular check-up and was diagnosed with varicocelle. He pushed them to ask what that meant for having a family, and the next thing he knew he was in the andrology lab finding out that he had a MFI diagnosis.
I met with my RE, Dr. B for the first time in February. We were sent right to the top of the fertility treatment chain - IVF with ICSI. Way to go overachiever!
Our first cycle started in April, and ended up with a retrieval on May 31st. The cycle was threatened to be cancelled a few times. I wish they would have done so, since the retrieval netted 0 embryos. Did I mention that May 31st was my birthday?
IVF # 2 started in July and ended with a retrieval in August. Things went better this time. We ended up with 2 embryos and a BFP!
Unfortunately, I miscarried my baby on September 11th at 7w3d. Throughout my short pregnancy, I had several occasions of severe bleeding. At the D&C, they weren't able to get any tissue, so there is no way to know for certain what went wrong. Dr. B is theorizing that it was chromosomal. He has plans for a new protocol (antagonist without estrogen priming) for my next cycle. It would be nice if that would give me better results.
I am currently grieving my loss and coping with my new reality. It's harder than I thought sometimes. I am working on losing weight and getting in shape now before starting my next IVF cycle in January / February. I am hoping that the time away will help me get my head together to tackle another IVF cycle. I'm hoping that losing weight will improve my fertilization results, and will give me a better chance of getting a take home baby.
So, that's where I am now. I have the best husband in the world. And, the best family. And the best pets. They help me get by and make me feel whole.
I was a bit ambivalent about wanting to have a child until I hit 30. I think that once my father-in-law died, I realized that I wanted a baby above anything else. We started trying shortly thereafter. Being a "Type A" personality, I immeditely bought a OPK, and started having se.x on a schedule. As you can imagine, we hated the scheduled aspect of things, so we decided to "just relax" and "let it happen." It didn't.
I wasn't too concerned at this time as I thought we were just not hitting the timing right. I made excuses. Meanwhile, last November, my husband headed to his GP for a regular check-up and was diagnosed with varicocelle. He pushed them to ask what that meant for having a family, and the next thing he knew he was in the andrology lab finding out that he had a MFI diagnosis.
I met with my RE, Dr. B for the first time in February. We were sent right to the top of the fertility treatment chain - IVF with ICSI. Way to go overachiever!
Our first cycle started in April, and ended up with a retrieval on May 31st. The cycle was threatened to be cancelled a few times. I wish they would have done so, since the retrieval netted 0 embryos. Did I mention that May 31st was my birthday?
IVF # 2 started in July and ended with a retrieval in August. Things went better this time. We ended up with 2 embryos and a BFP!
Unfortunately, I miscarried my baby on September 11th at 7w3d. Throughout my short pregnancy, I had several occasions of severe bleeding. At the D&C, they weren't able to get any tissue, so there is no way to know for certain what went wrong. Dr. B is theorizing that it was chromosomal. He has plans for a new protocol (antagonist without estrogen priming) for my next cycle. It would be nice if that would give me better results.
I am currently grieving my loss and coping with my new reality. It's harder than I thought sometimes. I am working on losing weight and getting in shape now before starting my next IVF cycle in January / February. I am hoping that the time away will help me get my head together to tackle another IVF cycle. I'm hoping that losing weight will improve my fertilization results, and will give me a better chance of getting a take home baby.
So, that's where I am now. I have the best husband in the world. And, the best family. And the best pets. They help me get by and make me feel whole.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
A question of support
I have been a pretty crappy ICLWer this cycle. My laptop was attached by some virus and was completely fried. My husband finally fixed it today. So, I've been trying to keep up on my comments, but I didn't keep track of how many I was posting, so I'm not sure how much catch-up I need to do.
The reason I signed up for ICLW is that I so appreciate the support that I get from the IF community. It helps to make this bearable.
IRL, I've been pretty open about our If struggles and journey. The reason we've decided to be open is that I don't want to "lie" by omission to my family and friends, and I thought I'd need the support. What I've discovered is that I don't always get what I need. My mom is very supportive, but it feels like the rest of my family and friends are afraid to ask me about it, so they ignore it. All I want is for them to occasionally ask how I'm doing.
Additionally, my SIL is currently pregnant after IVF with ICSI. You'd think that she'd ask, but she doesn't. She's in her own little happy pregnant world and isn't thinking about me at all.
I guess I'm a little bitter. And, to be honest, maybe a bit emotional. I'm heading into the last week of stims and I'm dreading it a bit. I just know that I'm going to get increasingly more uncomfortable.
Ok, off to ICLW comment!
The reason I signed up for ICLW is that I so appreciate the support that I get from the IF community. It helps to make this bearable.
IRL, I've been pretty open about our If struggles and journey. The reason we've decided to be open is that I don't want to "lie" by omission to my family and friends, and I thought I'd need the support. What I've discovered is that I don't always get what I need. My mom is very supportive, but it feels like the rest of my family and friends are afraid to ask me about it, so they ignore it. All I want is for them to occasionally ask how I'm doing.
Additionally, my SIL is currently pregnant after IVF with ICSI. You'd think that she'd ask, but she doesn't. She's in her own little happy pregnant world and isn't thinking about me at all.
I guess I'm a little bitter. And, to be honest, maybe a bit emotional. I'm heading into the last week of stims and I'm dreading it a bit. I just know that I'm going to get increasingly more uncomfortable.
Ok, off to ICLW comment!
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Oh so stimulating
I'm shocked and amazed to find out that after a "normal" interval of Lupron, I'm ready to start stims. Amazing to me after last cycle when I wouldn't reach baseline. Tonight I shot up with 225 of Follistim, and we're looking at retrieval sometime between August 1st and August 6th.
I'm currently enjoying my evening watching an encore of my Chicago White Sox and Mark Buehrle pitch a perfect game. Amazing! It's exciting to watch even though I know the outcome.
A good night...
I'm currently enjoying my evening watching an encore of my Chicago White Sox and Mark Buehrle pitch a perfect game. Amazing! It's exciting to watch even though I know the outcome.
A good night...
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Getting to know you. Getting to know all about you.
Welcome ICLW ers! This will be an interesting ICLW for me as my computer is broken. Completely fried by a virus I received while reading entertainment news on MSN. Bummer. It is currently in triage while we try to restore it's functionality. So, I'll be ICLWing on my work computer during my break. I'll do my best to keep up with the commenting!
For those of you new to my blog (WELCOME!), I thought I'd start the week by sharing some getting to know you facts about me. Some relevant facts, and some just for fun. So, here goes!
1. My husband and I are dealing with male-factor infertility. Therefore, we jumped right to the top of the heap with IVF with ICSI.
2. Our first attempt at IVF was a big fat failure with 0 (zero, nada, nilch) eggs fertilized.
3. We are about to embark on IVF # 2, assuming that the cysts I've been battling go away and STAY AWAY!!!
4. I am currently shooting up with my friend Lupron. Last night, I gave myself a shot in my thigh, and must have hit the wrong spot as blood started streaming down my leg and I have a huge bruise.
5. Lupron make me SO tired. I'm sure I'm not the only one.
6. I love my husband to death. We've been married for 10 1/2 years and have been through our set of ups and downs but he's still my best friend and biggest supporter.
7. Like a good infertile, I have surrounded myself with animals instead of children. I have a English Mastiff dog, and 3 cats. It's a zoo - filled with animal fur.
8. I love to do crafty stuff, but some of my joy for that has waned during this infertility craze. It's hard to make scrapbooks, and knit and sew when I always planned on doing those things to share a bit of myself with my future children.
9. I need a vacation so bad right now. But, I'm having a hard time justifying the cost. The vacation may just win.
10. My husband and I decided that we need something to focus on, so we're going to try to learn Spanish. Got my audio tapes all ready!
That's the highlights for now. I'd love to learn about you too. So, post a comment with the most interesting fact about you and where you're dying to go on vacation. Looking forward to getting to know everyone during ICLW!
For those of you new to my blog (WELCOME!), I thought I'd start the week by sharing some getting to know you facts about me. Some relevant facts, and some just for fun. So, here goes!
1. My husband and I are dealing with male-factor infertility. Therefore, we jumped right to the top of the heap with IVF with ICSI.
2. Our first attempt at IVF was a big fat failure with 0 (zero, nada, nilch) eggs fertilized.
3. We are about to embark on IVF # 2, assuming that the cysts I've been battling go away and STAY AWAY!!!
4. I am currently shooting up with my friend Lupron. Last night, I gave myself a shot in my thigh, and must have hit the wrong spot as blood started streaming down my leg and I have a huge bruise.
5. Lupron make me SO tired. I'm sure I'm not the only one.
6. I love my husband to death. We've been married for 10 1/2 years and have been through our set of ups and downs but he's still my best friend and biggest supporter.
7. Like a good infertile, I have surrounded myself with animals instead of children. I have a English Mastiff dog, and 3 cats. It's a zoo - filled with animal fur.
8. I love to do crafty stuff, but some of my joy for that has waned during this infertility craze. It's hard to make scrapbooks, and knit and sew when I always planned on doing those things to share a bit of myself with my future children.
9. I need a vacation so bad right now. But, I'm having a hard time justifying the cost. The vacation may just win.
10. My husband and I decided that we need something to focus on, so we're going to try to learn Spanish. Got my audio tapes all ready!
That's the highlights for now. I'd love to learn about you too. So, post a comment with the most interesting fact about you and where you're dying to go on vacation. Looking forward to getting to know everyone during ICLW!
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
I'm starting to feel "normal" again
I'm slowly starting to feel like "myself" again. After I made my goals recently, I've started to slowly do a few little things each day to achieve those goals. I've been knitting a little bit, walking my dog a little bit, and even exercising. I know, crazy. I think that right now, since I'm not really doing anything for my next IVF cycle, I've been able to work a little on myself.
So, right now I'm in a good place. Just got done with my burgers on the grill and am drinking a lovely Lienenkugel Summer Shandy (delish) enjoying my night.
Off to read ICLW blogs!
So, right now I'm in a good place. Just got done with my burgers on the grill and am drinking a lovely Lienenkugel Summer Shandy (delish) enjoying my night.
Off to read ICLW blogs!
Monday, June 22, 2009
Our TTC journey
Welcome to all the ICLW-ers out there! I'm enjoying getting to know everyone. I thought I'd give a little bit more of my TTC background and other general getting-to-know-you information. Here we go -
Our TTC is a bit different, I think. We were trying to conceive for a while without luck. I'd alternate doing OPK and pre-seed and being super crazy organized about the whole thing, with the more casual not preventing pregnancy. I wasn't worried about our lack of results because I was still convinced that we just weren't timing it enough or trying hard enough.
My husband went to his general practitioner last fall and was diagnosed with a varicocelle. The doctor told him that it wasn't any big deal and that they didn't need to do anything about it. Well, my brother and sister-in-law had to go through infertility treatments for that same reason, so I had my husband call them right back up and ask about what kind of impact that would have on our fertility. Guess what? He quickly had an appointment with a urologist and was getting his SA.
I was so mad that they didn't think to ask if we wanted to have kids. That's irresponsible of the doctor. Why wouldn't they even consider that a married man in his 30s might want to have a family one day.
So, we jumped right to the top of the heap - IVF with ICSI. In a way, I wish that we had been able to go through the whole Clomid, IUI route instead of going right to the big guys. I feel like I only have these few chances with IVF - and no guarantee of success.
We have gone through one IVF cycle, and I figure we can afford 2 to 3 more cycles before we have to make some decisions. Here's to luck for us and everyone in their TTC journey!
Our TTC is a bit different, I think. We were trying to conceive for a while without luck. I'd alternate doing OPK and pre-seed and being super crazy organized about the whole thing, with the more casual not preventing pregnancy. I wasn't worried about our lack of results because I was still convinced that we just weren't timing it enough or trying hard enough.
My husband went to his general practitioner last fall and was diagnosed with a varicocelle. The doctor told him that it wasn't any big deal and that they didn't need to do anything about it. Well, my brother and sister-in-law had to go through infertility treatments for that same reason, so I had my husband call them right back up and ask about what kind of impact that would have on our fertility. Guess what? He quickly had an appointment with a urologist and was getting his SA.
I was so mad that they didn't think to ask if we wanted to have kids. That's irresponsible of the doctor. Why wouldn't they even consider that a married man in his 30s might want to have a family one day.
So, we jumped right to the top of the heap - IVF with ICSI. In a way, I wish that we had been able to go through the whole Clomid, IUI route instead of going right to the big guys. I feel like I only have these few chances with IVF - and no guarantee of success.
We have gone through one IVF cycle, and I figure we can afford 2 to 3 more cycles before we have to make some decisions. Here's to luck for us and everyone in their TTC journey!
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Suppression....
Take two tomorrow on the supression check. I'm really hoping for the green light to move forward with stims. Really hoping. I guess I just want to be normal in something - and even if that means normal in my IVF protocol. So, fingers crossed.
My sister-in-law had her transfer last weekend. Her RE wanted to transfer 3 embroyos. My brother wanted to transfer 3 embroyos, but my SIL put down her foot and didn't do it. Thank goodness. She is experiencing some OHS - gained 8 pounds so far and is pretty miserable. Hopefully that subsides and she gets her positive soon.
I've enjoyed ICLW and loved all the support I've gotten! And, all the new blogs and new stories I've gotten to learn. I'm wishing all of you good luck in your journey. Keep in touch, 'k!
My sister-in-law had her transfer last weekend. Her RE wanted to transfer 3 embroyos. My brother wanted to transfer 3 embroyos, but my SIL put down her foot and didn't do it. Thank goodness. She is experiencing some OHS - gained 8 pounds so far and is pretty miserable. Hopefully that subsides and she gets her positive soon.
I've enjoyed ICLW and loved all the support I've gotten! And, all the new blogs and new stories I've gotten to learn. I'm wishing all of you good luck in your journey. Keep in touch, 'k!
Friday, April 24, 2009
Babies....at work
"Dear Office Neighbor:
I know your 4 month old baby is super cute. And, I know that you can hardly stand to leave her at home. I know that you can't understand why I wouldn't want to hear her crying while I work on my spreadsheets. But, is it really necessary for you to bring her to work? Considering the fact that we don't work in a day care, school, maternity ward, social services agency, retail store, etc. I should think that my office would be the ONE PLACE in the world where babies don't make a regular occurance.
So, office neighbor, mind the infertiles among us and leave the baby at home.
Sincerely,
A"
I know your 4 month old baby is super cute. And, I know that you can hardly stand to leave her at home. I know that you can't understand why I wouldn't want to hear her crying while I work on my spreadsheets. But, is it really necessary for you to bring her to work? Considering the fact that we don't work in a day care, school, maternity ward, social services agency, retail store, etc. I should think that my office would be the ONE PLACE in the world where babies don't make a regular occurance.
So, office neighbor, mind the infertiles among us and leave the baby at home.
Sincerely,
A"
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Fertility Socks
Everytime I head to the doctor for my vag-cam ultrasound, I pay special attention to the type of socks I wear. Usually, I'm heading over to the office during work hours, and I think being barefoot in the office is disgusting, so I pop a pair of socks in my bag.
Not just any socks though. As I mentioned before, I'm a knitter, and I have a few pairs of hand-knit socks that I made for myself. They are thick, and comfy, and make me feel special. They're my little bit of luxury. They're the socks I wear when I don't feel good, or when I am needing a bit of extra TLC, so they seemed like the perfect stirrup riding socks.
I've also recently purchased some other fun socks with stirrups in mind - socks with crazy bunnies and ducklings and panda bears on them.
I don't really care if anyone else likes them, or if people wonder why I have bobbie socks with crazy bunnies and little crazy bunny pom-poms on them, they make me smile.
How about you? What little thing do you do to take care of yourself during this crazy IF ride?
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Lupron's fickle ways
Oh, Lupron. Just when I thought our time was coming to an end, I find that is not the case. This morning's blood test / ultrasound determined that I am not yet suppressed. So, one more week on the Lupron for me. How did we celebrate? Lupron gave me a killer migraine - complete with aura. Makes spreadsheet creation a bit difficult. Also, got my period. May I remind you that I just had my period for 2 weeks?
Moving on....
In honor of ICLW, I thought I'd talk a bit about the other side of my life.
- When I'm not injecting
myself with hormones, I like to hang out with my husband and fur-family. This is my dog, Ryno. Despite his giant size, he really is a lap dog. He is currently curled up on the couch next to me snoring. - I love to do crafts, especially knitting, sewing, and scrapbooking. Unfortunately, I don't have nearly as much time to craft as I would like, and my recent imersion into the world of infertility has definately eaten into my crafting time. I haven't figured out how to knit and blog / read at the same time.
- I love reading. I'll read almost anything - not much of a fan of science fiction. I tend to go in waves with my reading themes. Lately, I've been looking for romantic comdedy type books - and I find them a nice way to escape.
So, that's about it for now. I'm looking forward to learning more about everyone in the IF community through ICLW.
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