Last Christmas was rough. We had just found out about our infertility diagnosis, and I was dwelling on the thought that M and I would be that couple in the family - the one everyone takes pity on at the holidays because they don't have any family of their own. A year later, I've been through a roller coaster of a year - two IVF cycles, one miscarriage, and a poor prognosis for success.
Last year, I tried to skip Christmas or at least gloss over it. It didn't work. Christmas still happened, and I felt worse for not making the effort to celebrate. So, this year, I'm trying a new approach. I'm going all in with Christmas this year. My Christmas cards are written out, we hung lights outside, I "adopted" a DCFS child to bestow gifts on - the whole works. I've even convinced my brother's and sisters to stage a surprise skit for Christmas Eve. (The girls are going to wear red t-shirts that say "HO" on them, and the boys are going to dress as Gangsta Santas. We're going to do Christmas Carrol raps). My brother is getting married January 2nd, and my other brother and sister-in-law will be birthing a baby in the next week or so.
Despite my sorrows and struggles this past year, there is a lot to celebrate. And, I'm NOT going to wallow in my childlessness. I'm going to celebrate Christmas and enjoy the season as much as I can. I'm realistic in that it will not be easy, and there will be some sad times, but I think (and hope) that I'll get out out of what I put into it. And, this year, I'm putting in the effort.
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Great attitude! Enjoy the season! I hope that you have a ton of fun and joy this holiday! Good for you!
ReplyDeleteSounds like a really good attitude. I know my attitude is going to be shaped by whether my current cycle goes well or not.
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful attitude! I wish I could do what you're doing, but I just don't feel up to it. Enjoy the season!
ReplyDeleteThat sounds like a wonderful idea and it's sure to set you up for a successful holiday this year. I hope things fall into place and the celebrating goes great! You deserve fun and a bit of freedom from the difficult thoughts/feelings that occupy much of your time after such a loss...even if for just a small bit of time. Take the time and enjoy it!!
ReplyDeleteWow! I really admire your positive attitude. You are truly the person that makes the world a better place. I'm very sorry to read of your infertility struggles and I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteAll the best!
ICLW
So proud of you and your awesome attitude!! I know that getting through the holidays will still be tough, but I'll be thinking about you and praying for you. :-) Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
ReplyDeleteGood for you! I know how hard it is to get amped up about a holiday that focuses so much on children. I admire your strategy and I think it will pay off for you in the long run. I'm happy for you and I hope you find some happiness this holiday season.
ReplyDeleteThat sounds wonderful and I am so glad that you are finally in the place to do that. I admire your positivity and the fact that you are looking at the blessings in your life.
ReplyDeleteThis Christmas was my due date (Dec 18th) so I still don't know quite what to do with myself. I have decided to take it day by day. I put up a few red candles and bought a poinsettia plant. I haven't opened the Christmas decorations box and I 'm not putting up a tree. I guess I can do all of that on Christmas Eve if I end up changing my mind.
I can't wait to be in the place where you are. I suppose next Christmas I will be feeling better, even if we are still in the same place. Maybe I will have more acceptance. That is where is sounds like you are right now. It is so good to hear that it does get to the point where you don't want to gloss over Christmas anymore. This post was very helpful to me.
What a great idea! I am so amazed that you are able to have such a great attitude. Make sure you spend time focusing on yourself, your husband, and that fabulous vacation you have coming up!
ReplyDeleteHahahaha!!! My Word Verification was SPERM - that just brightens my whole day!!!
Wandering in from IComWeLeave. Don't really know much about infertile couples as I am divorced and childless.
ReplyDeleteThe holidays are really hard when you're coping with IF, and I think your strategy this year is admirable! That's pretty much what I've tried to do these past few years, sometimes more successfully than others. This year we have our adopted baby boy to cheer me up, but we're still TTC--and this Christmas two of my cousins are pregnant, so I'm hoping I can handle our family gathering with them. Good luck and happy holidays!
ReplyDeleteI am proud of you. Fran
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