Our Thanksgiving ended up being ok after-all. Husband is doing much better, and we were even able to leave the house today and decorate the outside of our home. It looks so cute!
As I've mentioned, I'm throwing myself into the holidays this year. I am working on a digital scrapbook to document every day of my holiday activities and memories this year. So, I've uploaded the page I made for today. Despite jumping right in, I still have moments where I stop and remember where I should have been if my pregnancy had remained viable. I should have been finding out the gender soon. I should have been shopping for a maternity dress for my holiday party and my brother's wedding. I should have been feeling movement. I should have been eagerly anticipating the birth of my new niece in the next week or so - and imagining that our children will grow up together. I should have been celebrating Christmas as a pregnant woman with the knowledge that next Christmas would have me holding a 7 month old.
These wishes and unfulfilled dreams still cut me deeply. On the outside I'm fine and even happy. And truthfully, I'm doing really well. But, I still remember what should have been and it still hurts. I have many blessings and things to be thankful for right now. And, I wish and hope that next Christmas will have me counting different blessings, fulfilled dreams, and being thankful for my ultimate wish coming true.