Friday, November 13, 2009

Knife. In. Heart

As I mentioned, I went on a one-day business trip yesterday to Columbus, OH.  My boss and I went to evaluate a company.  We spent the afternoon with the 4 executives.  We were making small talk about how early we had to get up to catch our flight.  My boss brought up the fact that I had to wake up at 3:45 to take care of my dog prior to catching our flight, while she has two sons, but didn't have to take care of them because her husband was home.  To be clear, I didn't bring up the fact that I have animals - my boss did.  I try not to talk about them too much in public because I don't want to be that woman.

Later on in the day, one of the guys said, "When my wife and I were first married, we had a dog.  And, that was almost like our child.  It is amazing how once you have children, the importance of the dog in your life goes way down."

It was like a knife to my heart.  Thanks, jackass.  Way to point out what I'm missing and totally dismiss my life, as it is right now, all with two sentences.

22 comments:

  1. Ouch. That's an insensitive comment! I am so sorry!

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  2. I completely agree with you. I also hate it when people say that my dogs won't be important when I I have kids. That comment has always bothered me, but I never knew why. Now I know. I have tried to come up with a good come-back but I haven't thought of one yet. I am sorry that he was such a jackass.

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  3. Ugh, what a doofus. Even if he had no idea you were struggling with IF, how does he know you even want kids? Why brush off what you may have chosen? Dork. I hope you guys don't pick his company.

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  4. You know what else? I think how you feel about your dog is different for everyone. I have a friend who, as much as she's in love with her daughters, still continued to feel the same way about her dog after she had her babies. It's like her pup was her first baby. When her dog died, she was devastated and for a long time.

    I guess people are just trying to make connections when they say things like that, but it doesn't make you feel better when it hurts.

    Oh. And I am "that woman" when it comes to my dogs. And I just don't care anymore. LOL

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  5. What an idiot! Some people really need to stop and think before they speak. Just for the record, I love my dog more than I love most people and I know that even if I am fortunate enough to have a baby that my dog, Midnight, will always hold a very special place in my heart.

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  6. I can't help being surprise all the time about how people can be so tactless. And you know this shit happens all the time everywhere. And yet. There I am. Mouth open and all. Searching for somethign to say back. Big hugs petal, Fran

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  7. I am THAT woman when it comes to my dogs. Just a few minutes ago I was thinking about how much I can't wait to get home to see them. I too know people who had dogs first then kids and still felt the same way about their dogs. Our dogs have gone a long way to fill a void in our lives and also to strengthen our marriage. I don't know what I would do without them. That guy was a jerk but his comment comes from ignorance and insensitivity. I bet he didn't care that much for his dog BEFORE he had kids which is why it is so easy for him to dimiss it after he had kids.

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  8. Awww. I am so sorry. I can't believe that people say the things they do.

    Everyone has felt the need to tell me that once the baby gets here my first "child" will become a second class citizen in my home. I know there will be times (especially in the beginning) where I will not be able to spend as much time with Oscar, but he has been here for me through so much. He has licked tears off my face, he curls up with me when I need someone to, and is the happiest being in the whole wide world everytime he sees me. I mean I hate leaving him when we go out of town.

    I hope (actually I know) that I have enough space in my heart to keep loving Oscar as much as I do when our baby gets here.

    Don't let an ignorant man's insensitive comments upset you (because he has NO IDEA). Realize that he is the one missing out on loving his dog as much we love ours and having that amazing unwavering loving relationship with his pets. His lost!

    Thinking of you!

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  9. Whoa, what an asshole. His poor dog :/

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  10. What an insensitive, presumptuous jerk!! Don't let him being a horrible person upset you.

    ICLW

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  11. Ouch! What a tool! I don't know what it is about people that makes them speak without thinking. I'm sorry...

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  12. I don't just feel sorry for his dog, I feel sorry for the people in his life who likely hear assholey statements like this on a regular basis.
    (I am totally that woman with my dog.)
    hugs

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  13. Someone said almost the exact same thing to me the other day. A woman I work with who knows about my struggles to become a parent (she's generally pretty insensitive and happens to be the subject of my current post). She said "every couple I know who has dogs and then a kid gets sick of their dogs, every single one." F-- off. My dogs are my everything. I hate leaving them in the morning and I can't wait to get home to them at night. My parents loved our dogs even after they had my sister and I - there is NO reason you should take this personally or give the speaker any more credit than he's due. Which is zero. The credit is yours because now you know what a dip shit a-- hole he really is. Doesn't deserve the dog in my humble opinion. No matter how many times people say this kind of thing to me, I remain confident that my dogs will always have a special place in my heart and my life. Children or not. I'm sure yours will too.

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  14. Open mouth insert foot! We've all encountered those situations. Just last week I was at a party and a nosey guest started interviewing me and asked "do you have children?" and I said "its on our wish list" I wanted desparately to say "yes, one, perfect child, an angel"

    So sorry this hurt you...

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  15. Here from the blog roundup...

    wow, people really are just tactless aren't they? I am so sorry that you had to experience that, and I'll tell you even after you have the children, you're still an IF and sometimes people say things to me and I think..you really never "THINK" about what you say do you.

    hoping you don't encounter anyone like them again.

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  16. People suck. I was once asked if I wanted someone's dog because he bites children. And I didn't have any. So it would be okay for ME to have that dog because I didn't have kids. Apparently, I would never have any.

    People really can suck. I'm sorry. And now that we have a kid in the house, I still find my dog is really, really important.

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  17. Totally uncalled for! I don't get that comment at all. Perhaps it's because I am THAT person when it comes to my dogs! :-) But, perhaps also because some people should just never have dogs (and maybe kids), in the first place! (((HUGS)))

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  18. Yep, I've been that woman for years, and if I have to hear about people's kids, they can hear about my dog. And will remain so after a kid. Yeah and his comment was a bit weird.

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  19. How annoying! Books could be written about the stupid things people say.

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  20. Ugh, what stupid comments from both your boss and that guy! People don't think before they speak. (here from Stirrup Queens)

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  21. Here from SQ.

    Where I went because a coworker just stopped by and mentioned two other coworkers are pregnant. How lovely, but then he brightly said, "So don't drink the water!" He actually knows my history; I said, "Actually, I'd love to drink that water." So he backpedaled ... and yeah, I get it. Open mouth, insert foot. I've done it too. But still.

    Sorry this happened to you. It stinks.

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