Sunday, September 27, 2009

The space in between

I feel at loose ends.  I'm no longer pregnant, and no longer trying to get pregnant.  During the short time that I was pregnant, I imagined this fall, and how far along I'd be every week.  I'd imagine and plan out the things I would be doing: shopping for maternity clothes, clearing out the soon-to-be baby's room, etc.  I'd imagine how I'd look and feel and what I'd be doing as a pregnant woman.

I'm no longer pregnant, and what I imagined isn't true.  I am also not trying to get pregnant for the time being.  I feel confused and out of sorts.  I'm just me right now, and I don't remember what that's like.  I'm not sure what to do with myself right now, and it's harder than I thought it would be.

6 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry that you're feeling out of sorts right now. I hope you start to feel better soon and that this break helps heal your mind and body. Thinking about you.

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  2. I can imagine that it would be harder than you thought it would be- I cannot even fathom how hard it truly must be. You have been in my thoughts daily.

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  3. I am so sorry that you are feeling like you are in a undefined place. I know this is a really hard time. I am thinking about you.

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  4. Welcome back to the 'in-between' ... where you're not where you thought you'd be and definitely not where you want to be ... and have no idea where to go next. It really sucks, I'm so sorry. :( I hate it that IF makes it painful to imagine and hope for the future.

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  5. I'm feeling the same way. I'm also feeling like no one can understand how I'm feeling.

    Those two sentences don't even go together, but I feel like not a lot in my life makes sense right now anyway.

    I'm at the point where I'm just trying to get through the end of this horrible year. Here's hoping 2010 brings better things for both of us. :(

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  6. I am so sorry for what you're going through. There are no words to make it ok. Just thinking about you and seconding a previous poster's wish that 2010 brings better things for all of us.

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