Friday, March 19, 2010

The In-Between

Time has really been flying lately.  My husband and I have done a lot of adoption investigating and soul searching about what family planning route to take.  It's been a bit tough lately, but I feel like we're finally on the other side. 

Personally, I want to do another IVF cycle.  Having a miscarriage was HORRIBLE, and I definitely don't want a repeat of that.  But, I would go through that pain over and over and over again if it meant that I would have even a chance of having a baby.  I lost the baby at 7 weeks, 3 days, but for that short amount of time (really, 3 weeks or so), I felt that there was a baby inside of me.  I knew that our child was there.  To me, the pain of losing the baby was worth even that fleeting feeling of being a mom.  I know it doesn't make sense, but to me it is worth it.  We are currently planning on trying IVF once more this summer.  If that doesn't succeed, I think we will likely pack it in and move on to other things.  I plan on meeting with Dr. B in late spring or early summer and putting it all on the line for him then.

I invited myself to my brother's house tomorrow so that I can play with the 5 year old and hold the baby.  I need a baby fix and that will surely do the trick!

1 comment:

  1. "...for that short amount of time (really, 3 weeks or so), I felt that there was a baby inside of me. I knew that our child was there. To me, the pain of losing the baby was worth even that fleeting feeling of being a mom."

    Beautiful. And it makes sense to me.

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