Friday, March 5, 2010

Getting my Learn On

I've been cramming in adoption knowledge lately.  I think we've pretty much ruled out international adoption (see previous post about the crazies).  So, we are trying to change our mind set and learn as much as possible about domestic adoption as possible.  Our goal is to have an agency picked out by mid-April some time. 

On Wednesday, M and I partook in a webinar for one of the agencies in our city.  It was super boring and took way longer than it needed too.  But, after getting through that pain, we realized that we learned alot.  They are a really experienced agency, but I did have a "corporate" feeling about them.

I've also been reaching out to other people that I know who have adopted, and that has turned into a wealth of information.  One of the physicians I work with has two adopted daughters, so I asked her what agency she worked with.  It turns out that her husband is the president of the Board of Directors of this agency.  She offered to sit down with us once we have some of our questions answered and talk about the process.  At which point I started to cry.  So, we are going to their informational session this coming Wednesday.  So far, I have a good feeling about this agency.  They seem to want us to become a family, no matter what we need to go through.  In fact, unlike Agency #1, they don't prohibit continuing fertility treatments, getting pregnant on our own, or trying anything else.  I like that.  But, we'll see how we feel after the informational session.

I've also sent away for a bunch of information on foster-adoption from the Dave Thomas Foundation (Thanks, Frau! - by the way, I'd love to e-mail you, but I can't find your e-mail address).

Next week, M and I are meeting with a nurse I work with who recently adopted a daughter last year as a single father.  He actually used Agency #1.  So, M and I are headed to his home next Sunday to talk about the process and meet his daughter.  I think that's so generous of him, and great for M since so much that I've read is geared toward the adoptive mothers.  Also, this guy's daughter is African American and he is white, so I'm curious to learn more about trans-racial adoption. 

Finally, I have the phone number of my father's co-worked who adopted several girls from China.  I plan on calling them and seeing if we can meet with them to talk about their experiences.

People are being so generous.  I am still learning and reaching out and trying to put together a new and expanded community to help through this adoption journey.

I still am not giving up on IVF, though.  I've actually discovered something really basic that could possibly be impacting my cycles.  This sounds stupid and elementary, so I wonder what you all have to say about it.  I have always "spotted" for 2 or 3 days before I started a heavy flow of menstruation.  I never thought anything of it and didn't know it was "bad" until I was asking Dr. Google about spotting when I was pregnant, which is when I discovered that this isn't normal and could be a sign of things being hormonally out of whack.  On top of that, when I've done IVF, I've always started the BCPs with the first sign of blood, so 2 or 3 days before I actually started bleeding.  So, I wonder if that matters?  I hope to meet with Dr. B and discuss it with him before I make any decisions.

This next month or so will be pretty busy, and I like that.  I am ready to make a decision and start this next journey.
And, finally, I want to explore donor eggs.  I've asked M to start thinking about it.  I'm not sure if that is the right decision for us, and I sort of doubt that Dr. B will give me the green light on that right now since he still thinks I could possibly have a baby with my own eggs.  But, I think it is something I should look into.


  1. I'm so glad that there are so many people in your life that can help answer your questions and give you guidance. There is nothing more helpful than having people around you who know EXACTLY what you're going through. Good luck on choosing your agency! I'm praying for you!!

  2. It's great to have other people to talk to about adoption. We have some great friends that have adopted and another that have foster-adopted 4. They are such a great source of information and encouragement while we are trying to make some decisions. Good luck with all your decisions. ((HUGS))

  3. It sounds like you are going through a lot of the same processing I am right now also. I am wondering about DE, adoption and other things. I am also having a problem with egg maturity in IVF cycles. BTW- I also have the spotting issue too but my doc was never concerned.

    Also- PS- I have a diabetic cat too. This is my second diabetic cat.

    Wishing you the best, I think it's wonderful you are finding helpful people with the adoption process.

  4. Man, you guys have got the adoption contacts! That's so awesome! I can't wait to keep reading up on all you find out about it.

    I'm so sorry the last IVF cycle was a bust for ya'll. I'm at least glad the doc had you cancel it so you can try again for a better one.