I was crushed yesterday. Totally heartbroken. I felt like we didn't even get a chance. I sat in my office with the door shut and fiddled around with some work. I would alternate productivity with looking at random funny pictures of cats and dogs on "I can has cheezburger." http://icanhascheezburger.com/
After work, I drank 3/4 of a bottle of Pinot Grigio and sat on the couch eating pizza feeling sorry for myself.
But, today, I've decided to feel better. My first IVF cycle turned out like shit, but I am choosing to be hopeful and thankful and grateful for all that I have. In doing so, I've come to a few realizations:
My husband and I are a family. We deserve to nuture that relationship and feel validated in that. We are complete now.
I have a super supportive extended family who will be with me through thick and thin.
I have choices; I can mourn and be miserable and wonder if this will ever work. Or, I can choose to be hopeful that it will.
Today, I'm choosing hope.