Tuesday, June 2, 2009

I choose hope

I was crushed yesterday. Totally heartbroken. I felt like we didn't even get a chance. I sat in my office with the door shut and fiddled around with some work. I would alternate productivity with looking at random funny pictures of cats and dogs on "I can has cheezburger." http://icanhascheezburger.com/

After work, I drank 3/4 of a bottle of Pinot Grigio and sat on the couch eating pizza feeling sorry for myself.

But, today, I've decided to feel better. My first IVF cycle turned out like shit, but I am choosing to be hopeful and thankful and grateful for all that I have. In doing so, I've come to a few realizations:

My husband and I are a family. We deserve to nuture that relationship and feel validated in that. We are complete now.

I have a super supportive extended family who will be with me through thick and thin.

I have choices; I can mourn and be miserable and wonder if this will ever work. Or, I can choose to be hopeful that it will.

Today, I'm choosing hope.


  1. sending a big hug, beautiful post. I choose hope too.

  2. Amy, I'm so sorry to hear about your cycle. I also went through a cycle with zero fertilization and it was devastating. But sometimes it takes a cycle or two to get a girl figured out, so chances are they will tweak your protocol and you'll get a stronger response next time. Keep your chin up!

  3. Great post Amy, I posted something similar yesterday. We choose how we react to this, infertility has already taken so much from us we cannot allow it to ruin the other pleasures we have in life. We are blest to have love and family. We will get through this and we will be OK!

  4. I'm so sorry your cycle failed but I'm glad to see you have such a good attitude.

    The same thing happened to me during my first IVF cycle. The next time, though, I got pregnant!

    Have hope :)

  5. I'm right there with you. Thanks for helping me see the good stuff that's out there too.

  6. I am so sorry your cycle failed. I'm so, so sorry.