Sunday, June 28, 2009

Certainty vs. Hope

I hung out with my sisters and mom yesterday checking out a neighborhood french market and shopping. It was a great day, and really helped to restore my creativity. I love seeing all the handmade items people make and getting inspiration to try new creative things. It was great just to laugh and relax and have fun.

One of our stops was at a fabric and quilt store. My newlywed sister bought fabric to make a baby quilt. She's not pregnant, and isn't trying to get pregnant right now. However, she is certain that one day it will just happen for her. For her, making a baby quilt now makes perfect sense. Why not - you'll need it one day.

On the other hand, I'm making a quilt right now, and had to choose between throw blanket size and baby blanket size. Although I hesitated and thought about the baby blanket, I chose the throw blanket. Because, what if I never become a mother? Or, what if I end up adopting a toddler and don't need a baby blanket? I wouldn't want to break my heart by making a baby quilt that never gets used.

So, I make the throw blanket. And, keep the baby yarn safely un-knit and tucked away where I can't see it, but can hope to put it to use one day. And, if this doesn't work out, the yarn all gets donated and out of my house so I don't have to look at it and see evidence of our infertility.


  1. What an eloquent post!

    I'm glad your "creativity was restored." I know dealing with non-IFers can be diffiuclt. However, as someone experiencing secondary infertility, I was like your sister---I didn't think twice about trying to get pregnant. I'm now in the IF world...hoping and praying for a second child. Like you, there are baby items that are stored away in hopes that they will be used one day...

    Best wishes to you!


  2. I bought a crib set - for a baby I haven't managed to make yet! I freaked out, sure I had brought a jinx on us. Now it reminds me we're not there yet. Good choice, going for the throw.