I'm not gonna lie, I've been struggling lately. I often have an "all or nothing" approach to life. I'm in or I'm out. That extends to relationships, crafts, my home, work, fitness, infertility and adoption. In or out. Lately, I've been half in the infertility world (do I do another cycle? consider donor eggs), half in the adoption world (which agency? when), half into fitness (must lose weight for another IVF cycle, want to lose weight at a reasonable pace and KEEP IT OFF, who cares I feel crappy, so I want comfort food), and half into making my house more of a home. In or out. And, I hate it. All or nothing doesn't get me very far. I end up depressed, upset at not meeting my goals, and often, starting over again. I'm trying to change that and live a more balanced life.
I'm more than just my infertility, and I'm going to start using this space to figure that out too. In the end, I think it will make me a happier person, and make it so that I'm better able to deal with the curve balls thrown my way.
I've been trying to get into running again. Back a few years ago, I was into running to the point where I ran the Chicago Marathon in 2006. I enjoyed running alot. But, again with the all or nothing, it was Marathon training our couch sitting for me. I ended up sitting on the couch for quite a bit of time, doing NOTHING, gaining weight, and losing fitness. I'm back to square one again, and trying to get to a healthy place with diet and fitness. It is time to do this FOR ME. Not because I want a baby, but because I want to live my life.
My sister has connected me to all of these wonderful blogs on fitness and crafts and fun stuff. I've found this blog by Amanda called Run to the Finish. She is having a 3 Changes Challenge and I am participating! Basically, she is challenging us to pick three small or large goals that you can change or achieve over the next 30 days that can help you break through a plateau. Sounds like what I need! I've decided to focus on diet and exercise and getting over the "all or nothing." My goals are:
1. Run 4 days a week for at least 10 minutes. I hope to do more, but this will at least ensure that I can fit it in as scheduled, and that I'm at least doing SOMETHING! I hope to use this to make running a habit and a lifestyle change.
2. Do 10 push-ups and 10 sit-ups 4 days a week. Again, with strength training, I'm either doing NOTHING or an hour long workout. I am hoping to build a habit of strength training.
3. Log my calories into My Daily Plate. I am always either on or off a diet. I want to build a habit of monitoring my calories every day, whether I'm eating according to a diet plan or going on a McDonald's binge. I think it will help me in the long-run to develop some healthy eating habits along the way.
I will still talk about infertility and my adoption journey, but I need to shift my focus a bit. I'm hoping that my regular supporters stay with me on this journey, and I hope to make some new friends along the way!