Tuesday, March 24, 2009

I never thought it made sense.


I have often said (outloud even), that if I got pregnant I wouldn't believe it until I was birthing the baby. The whole concept of conception seemed so miraculous and impossible, that I could never believe it would work for me. Well, I guess the joke's on me - It isn't really possible the get pregnant like a normal person.

No, any baby's of mine will be created in a petri dish. Great.

So, here I am, 32 years old, waiting for my miracle. We are facing male-factor infertility (his boys don't swim, there's not that many of them, and they're kinda funny shaped). I am waiting to start my period. The joke is that my normally pretty regular cycle decided to be 5 days late (and counting). I got suckered into the "hope" thing again and actually POAS. Funny. BFN as expected.

So, I sit here, feeling cramps, with sore ovaries, and staring at the TP each time I go to the bathroom looking for pink. Grrr....

April 1st we head to the RE for our registration visit for IVG/ICSI. Meanwhile, I am trying to get my head together, trying to not drown in pizza, and trying to stay positive.

Trying to make sense of it all.

4 comments:

  1. Stopping by from LFCA to say Welcome! The ALI community is not a place any of us thought we'd find ourselves, but the support and love is a blessing during the struggles of IF.

    Cheers.

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  2. Here from Lost and Found Connections Abound to say hi and welcome. I hope your stay on this side of the infertility blogosphere is short. I am also dealing with super MFI.

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  3. Welcome to the IF blog land! I'm sorry you have to be here, but it is a great community. :) My DH and I are MF, too. Hoping AF comes and your IVF cycle is a success!

    makingmemom.blogspot.com

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  4. Hi there...Fellow MFI-er here stopping by from LFCA! We're getting ready to do our first IVF/ICSI as well...! Welcome to blog-land!

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