Today would have been my due date for the pregnancy I lost in September.
I know it is just a date, and in real life, doesn't mean anything. But, I can't help but stop and think about what might have been. What today could have looked like had things gone differently. I could have been cursing about how uncomfortable I was and hoping that the baby would come any day. I could have been holding my baby.
But, life is what life is. And, I'm not holding my baby. And, I'm not pregnant. And, I'm not cycling now or anytime in the future. I'm waiting.
I am not as sad as I had thought I'd be. I didn't even cry today. In fact, I took a vacation day today and spent a wonderful morning with my husband and my dog hiking. But, I cried on Sunday at Church when the little kids were making their 1st Communion, so you never know.
I'm sad about what could have been. I feel that I've taken time to experience and mark the loss in a quiet way. But, I'm thankful for the short time that I was a "mom." I am so glad that I had the opportunity to experience that miracle.
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I'm so sorry it what could have been wasn't...
ReplyDeleteThat really sucks...Sorry...Glad you were able to enjoy today with your hubby!
ReplyDeletehttp://doihavetobeadink.blogspot.com/
I am so sorry, these anniversary days are so tough. You are strong. Good for you for moving forward to your dream.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. I know how hard and difficult the due date can be.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry these days are so tough, but it's good to see that you were able to spend some time with hubby
ReplyDelete~Stopping by for ICLW #126
Oh, I'm so sorry too! I can just imagine how hard it must be after a loss like that, because I already imagine the "what might have been" as I look at the friends and sisters who have had babies since we've been TTC. HUGS!
ReplyDeleteUgh, I hate IF anniversary days. You have such a positive attitude about moving forward though. Best of Luck! Happy ICLW (#105)
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry today is a sad reminder. I'm glad you were able to take a day to have a minute to reflect. I hope you get to enjoy the rest of the day with your hubby.
ReplyDeleteThese days are so hard! I am glad that you were able to take some time off and take care of yourself. Best wishes!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry. I'm having a hard time finding words that may be comforting to you but know that I will be thinking of you. I just added your link to my blog. {HUGS} (ICLW #90)
ReplyDeletecome back soon
ReplyDeleteJust checking in to see how things are going! Hope you are doing well.
ReplyDeleteI am very sorry. I hope writing about it helps. You certainly have lots of love and support out here in the blogosphere. Take care.
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